Tour Guide, Mykonos, Greece
| 6 mins read
Love relationships in any place or period of time have always been directly related to the social status of both sexes, and especially to that of women.
In the ancient Greek society, women were deprived of civil rights, and, according to today's standards, their role was a subordinate one. We should not, however, think that their position was unworthy, as this would be a mistake.
The Greeks asked from their women to be good mothers and good housewives, nothing more, nothing less.
The role of the mother was every woman's goal.Her whole world was her family and her house. In it she was the absolute mistress. As a mother she was respected not only by her husband and by her in-laws, but by everybody.
Women could not carry out any legal transaction; in particular, they could neither possess, nor buy nor sell property. In this case the woman was represented by her husband, or brother, or her closest male relative.
Women were not registered in the official lists of the citizens of the Demos or of the Fratria*. The only rights this "passive" sort of citizen possessed were, first, that she could contract a legal marriage and bear legitimate children, and second, the right of epikleria. In particular, when a unmarried daughter who had no brother inherited property from her father, she would become epikleros, which literally means that she "sat on the lot" (on the piece of land), without being able neither to possess, nor to manage, nor to sell it, since, as we have already mentioned, she had no transaction rights. Therefore, the "heiress" was obliged to immediately marry her closest relative from her father's side, so the property would remain in the family.
Young girls would not receive education, but would learn from their mothers or from a maid, the management of the house, and occasionally reading, writing and elements of arithmetic. Only from the Hellenistic period onwards (323-30 B.C.), did girls start to attend schools.
Young women were not allowed to show themselves in public, unless they were going to a religious or family gathering or to do their personal shopping; and even then they were always accompanied by a female slave.
On the contrary, in Sparta girls would participate in physical activities and sports in order to conform to the principle of eugenics of the Spartan regime. This shocked the Athenians, who called them phainomirides, as during exercise their thighs were exposed (Euripides, Andromache 597).
We also know that in Lesbos, in the beginning of the 6th c. B.C., a pedagogical institute for young girls was established, under the direction of the famous poetess Sappho. Morals in Lesbos were more relaxed, and the same goes for the other Aeolic and Ionian cities,as far as women's education and conduct were concerned.
The young Athenian woman wasn't allowed to socialize with the opposite sex and therefore she could not choose the man that she would marry. It was her father who would chose her future husband, in spite of the girl’s wish, as he rconsent was not necessary. All marriages were unions of interest and not of love.
The woman's position didn't change much after marriage, although she enjoyed a somewhat greater freedom of movement. She carried on living in the house like before, except that now she was the one who managed it. In particular, she settled everything that had to do with the everyday life. She saw to the upbringing of the children, supervised the slaves, took care of the family’s provisions, and supervised the handling, preservation and storage of agricultural and livestock products. She also kept the keys of the house, of which she was the indisputable mistress.
Both married and unmarried women only left the house on special occasions, such as religious duties, personal shopping, ceremonies, and, of course, always escorted. This didn't apply to all social classes though; women of the lowest class were occasionally forced to work out of the house, due to extreme poverty; they would either sell their products in the market or would work mostly as weavers or seamstresses.
Neighbors could exchange visits for gossip or to borrow things from one another, but normally, a respectable woman could not be seen in public, unless for a serious reason: "A respectable woman should remain within her house; the streets are for the unworthy" (Menander, Fragment 546). Even a short delay on her doorstep and the woman could be stigmatized. Furthermore, women, being excluded from public affairs, found no interest in them and generally in whatever took place out of the house. Anything different would be considered at least improper.
When guests were received in the house, the female members of the family would not appear; servants looked after the guests, under the supervision of the lady of the house. Women would participate only in family gatherings.
Were women allowed to go to the theater? The answer to this question is yes, but they could most probably attend only tragedies. Considering the place of women in Athenian society, the strict morality of the times and the foul language of comedy, we can say that a respectable woman never attended comedies.
The woman's place in the society of the classical period can be epitomized in the following excerpt from Demosthenes' speech Against Neaera (122): "We have the hetaerae** (courtesans) for pleasure, the concubines for the daily personal care and the legal wives to bear us children and manage our houses."
To sum it all up, we can say that the woman in ancient Greece not only lost the position she had in the distant matriarchal society, but also the freedom she enjoyed in the prehistoric times (Minoan and Mycenaean civilizations).
It is logical to wonder today, whether women were unhappy leading that particular style of life. The answer is quite obvious: this was the only kind of life an honorable woman could lead, and, furthermore, what one doesn't know one doesn't miss.
*Demos: a self-governed territory (and its inhabitants). At the beginning of the 5th cent. B.C., there were a hundred demoi in Attica. The Fratria was the union of several families of the same lineage, the purpose of which was to protect the common interests.
**Hetaerae: women of loose morals, but distinguished from the common prostitutes for their skills and wit.